I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
