So drunk its hurt
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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