you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
