Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
