I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
