Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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