WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
