beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
