So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
