Don't you send me to vm
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
