You're my little dorito
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
