break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
