I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
did i just pee glitter
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
