She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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