i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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