Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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