Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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