Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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