Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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