I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
