I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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