we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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