I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
