You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
