Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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