when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Couch. On fire.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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