you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize