Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
