it was like eating out sand paper
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
