I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
