He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
