yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
