nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
