it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
