How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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