i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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