I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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