Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
