who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
