in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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