i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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