you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
