She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
