Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
