i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
