I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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