TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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