What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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