I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Holy sore nipples Batman
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
