We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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