Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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