Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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