If i come over, it means nothing
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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