She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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