just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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