i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
