I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
