I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
