he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
