I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
