I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
