I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
